Maine raita faila hi diya

Story Update Time. For those of you who have been lame enough to have kept track and actually read Curie: The Snow White did you ever think it might actually save you time one fine day? No, right? Now, for those who either are new Swagsti followers (Gina Linetti energy 14/10) or accurately judged that reading it is a waste of time, read up. You’ll need the background story.

How often have you heard, ‘Karma is a bitch!’ 50 odd times? Well, make it 51, because Karma is indeed a bitch. Curie had her revenge. And the worst part is that she probably doesn’t even know she did. Or maybe I turned into Curie. Any-which-way, here goes the very tiny basic (barely an) incident which I will blow out of proportion, because I ain’t Swagsti for no reason.

I was churning (yahi hota hai na mathna ka English?!) some yogurt to make raita. I felt that I should add in more yogurt. On a separate note, will someone remind me to never trust my instincts in the kitchen? Pretty please? So then, I yanked open the refrigerator door, which I have been told not to n number of times, proceeded to extract the first red packet I see and add its contents to my bowl. The yogurt was unusually runny. I remember even exclaiming to my mother that there was something wrong with that packet of yogurt. It was milk. It was a red coloured packet of milk kept next to the red coloured packet of yogurt.

I failed to notice the vast difference between the textures and quality of the yogurt/milk. My absentmindedness made me pull a complete Curie. Now, what is better than a Karma is a Bitch angle in an anecdote? Two Karma is a Bitch angles. Yes, in the same story. A night prior to this incident I was reminded of my coaching Chemistry teacher whose character cannot be justified by words in the English language. In German? Maybe. I don’t know. So, the best part about him was that to explain certain chemical reactions he would have the most absurd analogies and illustrations.

For the love of God, I have tried and failed miserably to recollect what was the exact reaction that resulted in the following conversation. Just trust me on this. It happened.

We are just going to call him ‘Yeh question 100% exam mein aayega’ aka Scent Percent. Pun intended.

Scent Percent: Ab maan lo ghar mein shaadi hai. Ab shaadi mein coffee machine toh hoti hi hai. Sadi hui coffee hoti hai lekin saare mehmaano ko coffee toh machine wali hi chahiye. Ab samjho jis doodh se coffee banni thi, usmein kissi bache ne dahi gira di hai. Sharaarati bacha tha. Daal diya dahi doodh ke bartan mein.

The entire class: (internally) What the actual fuck?

Scent Percent: Ab mehmaano ko abhi coffee chahiye. Kaise bachaoge doodh ko?

Me: (failing horribly to conceal my laughter and being the unfortunate one to be sitting on the front bench I just use one hand to cover my smirk and the other to just gesture a picking up motion (Imagine someone picking up an orange, let’s say) to convey that my rescue plan was as simple as going in and picking up the yogurt from the milk vessel)

The people sitting beside me saw this and started smirking too. Unfortunately, Scent Percent saw this too.

Scent Percent: Arey aise kaise utha logi dahi haanth se? Tut jayegi na dahi. Haanth mein thodi aayegi. Aise nahi bachega doodh.

And all hell broke loose. I was laughing so hard, with tears in my red eyes. So busy laughing that I forgot to actually then pay attention to the chemical reaction that Scent Percent taught to somehow get milk back from yogurt or whatever that was.

Cut scene to me standing with a bowl containing a mixture of yogurt and un-boiled milk in my hand. I should have listened. I should have listened to the chemical reaction. What I had failed to realise at that time was that when Scent Percent said, ‘Yeh question 100% exam mein aayega’, he was referring to the exam that life is and not the superficial ones that hand out marksheets. Stupid me.

PSA: I will now also be responding to the name of Curie.