Green Cup and Me: A Love Story

“It’s been going on for so long now. Every time I try and escape, it just pulls me right back in while making me feel guilty for ever thinking about leaving. It has affected my behaviour and personality towards others. I have bruises on both my knees along with a nearly broken back. It’s made me cry, it’s made me laugh. It has left me waiting for hours, sometimes even days. I have skipped meals for entire days. I have possibly developed a caffeine addiction.”
I wrote this a couple of days before we finally managed to get that Green Cup and successfully survived the Flower Show. Now I look back and just wonder how did I ever manage to get through all of it. And let me assure you I didn’t without many breakdowns.

Green Cup was my aim right from the Handing Over ceremony wherein the previous union of Prakriti metaphorically ‘handed over’ all the responsibilities to the new one. We then filled every single sliver of free time with a workshop on sustainability, or a trip to a biodiversity park or a seminar on dragonfly conservation or a meeting to discuss the latest issue of Ankur (blog of Prakriti) or a talk on this or a presentation on that. Every single seedball made, candle wax melted, stone painted, flower stem cut, meal missed, sleepless night and visit to the Principal’s office was for the Green Cup.

From getting screamed at for no reason at all, to screaming at others for no reason at all. From questioning why the lawns are forbidden territory to aggressively defending the locks on the gates. From teasing others for helping out in the hostel lawns to becoming nearly a Head Gardener of the same. From hiding in my room during last year’s hostel lawns inspection to nearly crying tears of joy on winning the Hostel Cup. From labelling even the most trifle of things to losing the glass base of my flower arrangement. From being ignorant of even the names of marigold to learning about Ikebana and Moribana. From being a micromanager to getting my earphones marinated in glue. From voicing disapproval on usage of paper for decoration to actually leading several departments to do the same. From being a skeptic of the Flower Show to being a resilient one waiting in pouring rains at its prize distribution, huddled under umbrellas. From 100% attendance in even tutorials to begging teachers for leniency for the same. Green Cup has truly shown me all the colours of the wind.

I have prioritised it over my reviewed research paper, art exhibitions, internship opportunities, flirting with a guy, paper presentation functions and my academics. No one from my school would believe that I actually put anything above my studies but I did. I’m not saying I abandoned all these opportunities, but I could have performed so much better in all. Okay okay, I wouldn’t have flirted anyways! Nonetheless, I have no regrets. I am glad of every choice I’ve made.

Early in the month, while chalking out my calendar, I knew that it will be nothing short of a Fuck-It-February. And now with the onset of Marvelous March, I am engulfed with emotions of gratitude and a deep sense of accomplishment. But I am sorry for all the scissors, knifes, markers lost. I am sorry for all the eyerolls. I am sorry for all the snaps. But in the end I am tired. More tired than I have ever been.