To All The Boys (People) Who’ve Misnamed Me Before

S W A S T I. Yes, with a double S. Simple six letter word. Two syllables. Refers to a person who does good for others. Names I’ve been called instead:
1. Swati– Now it would be foolish not to expect this, right? Clearly, this one is the more popular name.
2. Sawasti– Okay, maybe you just added an unnecessary syllable. No worries.
3. Swaasti– Every teacher ever. You might have forgotten to close your mouth after that first a. Manageable.
4. Sasti Masti– This one really took off after the release of Cheap Thrills. Fml.
5. Softy– Yes. Yes I am a nice adorable scoop of vanilla ice cream.
6. Shwasti– Maybe your terrible handwriting added the H between the S and W. But who knows?
7. Shwasthy– Umm, maybe you thought I’m from South?
8. Samakshi– Clearly it was my fault that I was standing next to a girl named Kamakshi and obviously your brain just clubbed the names together. My bad.
9. Sanskriti– Please tell me you mixed me up for another girl named Sanskriti and not actually said my name like that.
10. Shrishti– Are you even putting in any effort at this point? Or you begin with an S and going where your tongue takes you?
11. Shashwati– I mean come on! Are you serious? This one’s as difficult if not more and you still manage to call me this?!
12. Swastik– Know what? Still better than number 11.

Sometimes makes me wonder why my parents bothered to think up a unique name at all. All their efforts have gone down the drain. As for me, I respond to any and every name that starts with an S, including the ones mentioned above. No, it does not include predominantly male names. No use calling me Suraj or Sandeep.